SPORTS

Stella Moore drama as T-Ball coach throws No-Hitter

By: Chip McCoy, Sports Reporter

Date: April 2022

There was excitement and drama at Stella Moore fields in Louisa, KY during the last week of the T-Ball youth league season. In a controversial display of dominance, the head coach of the T-Ball Athletics, Chip McCoy, pitched a No-Hitter in their game against the Reds. The pitching performance drew boos from the stands, especially given the fact that in T-Ball the coaches pitch to their own team, which are comprised of children aged 4 to 5 years-old.

            We reached out to the Athletics Head Coach Chip McCoy for comment at the field immediately after the game, who told us, “A lot of people who watched me pitch in high school were making comments that I’d lost a lot of my speed since then. I wanted to go out there and prove them wrong.”

            Chip McCoy didn’t appear to show any remorse, despite his son’s sobbing while he pleaded with his mother, “Why did daddy do this to us? We’re just kids! We just wanted to have fun.”

            The only technical blemish on the near perfect game was when 4-year-old Phyllis Davies managed to get an accidental bunt down the 1st base line. As she was running toward first base the entire Reds team tackled her in an attempt to get to the ball, causing the umpire to award her 1st base for interference on an error.

            Parent Sharon Westbrook was quoted after the game saying, “I have nothing wrong with getting these kids used to seeing the heat of a 80-mph slider at 4-years old. They need to learn to stay in the box and not fear those pitches, but this was too much. Although, I am going to tell my son that his father left because he played so bad. It’ll be easier than explaining how that whore Lucille McCoy from accounting was his actual wife, and we were the secret second family.”

            Several kids were promised ice cream after the game to calm them down, but most parents secretly agreed they would get a “call” from wherever they were going telling them the “ice cream machine was broken.”