By: Mark Wayne, Lead Investigative Reporter

Date: October 27, 2022

This past Tuesday evening, Mrs. Marge Thompson, 76, of Martha, KY was leaving the post office located in downtown Louisa when she was startled to see what appeared to be the specter of former Supreme Court Chief Justice Fred M. Vinson floating up from the Dee’s Drive Inn Bathroom. This is the second such haunting Mrs. Thompson has seen in the past year, the first being of D&J Tobacco in April.

Mrs. Thompson stated she knew it was unquestionably the late Chief Justice Vinson because of his lengthy, billowing, dark robes and pasty white head that sported the same signature 1950’s closeted-racist hairstyle her daddy wore.

“I snuck up real quiet when the Chief Justice emerged from the Dee’s Bathroom, because I wanted to hear what he ordered from Dee’s Drive Inn,” stated Mrs. Thompson. She went on to explain she kept a respectful distance, as she had neither her late father’s or late husband’s permission to talk to another man. The encounter with the Ghost of Fred M. Vinson left the septuagenarian visibly shaken as she went on to say the late Chief Justice “really wrecked the plumbing.”

The Big Sandy Lazer reached out to Dee’s Drive Inn to confirm the presence of the judicial specter, as well as his order. Dee’s Drive Inn his reportedly considering offering the Chief Justice’s Order as a permanent fixture on their menu.

“Pretty soon people will be able to walk into Dee’s and say ‘Give me the Fred M Combo!’” stated Dee’s Drive Inn founder Adriane DeLewis. 

            The Fred M Combo will consist of:

            1 Order of Pancakes

            1 Dee Burger

            1 Potato Side of Your Choice

            1 Large Frozen Coke

Anyone who successfully eats the combo in one sitting will attain the admiration and glory of Fred M. Vinson, himself.

After the apparition of Justice Vinson finished his meal, he left to go haunt the old Best Western across the street, which has consistently been under new management for the past several years.