Fall 2022
Hottest Church Sign
of Louisa, KY
By: Brooke Meadows
Date: September 26, 2022
It is finally time for what is going to become an annual Fall tradition, where we name Louisa’s Hottest Church Sign. Since Lawrence County has had an eventful few days, from the Heritage Harvest Tour to the shadow of some sins arcing over the community’s conversations, it just felt like the right time.
What does it mean to be the “Hottest Church Sign”? Is it the sign that has the brightest backlighting? The sign that has the sexiest slogan? Or is it the sign that reminds us the most fervently of the eternal flames of damnation and torture that await those who cross an ever-compassionate and all-loving God? Short answer, is it’s a little bit of all of those things. So with out further ado… Here are the Fall 2022 Hottest Church Signs of Louisa, KY:
#3- Faith Baptist Church
It’s not one of the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse, but it is the dark horse candidate of the whole competition. This little brother Church behind Louisa First Baptist Church often gets overlooked, to the point that some people don’t even know it’s there. Regardless, this is just a solid Church Sign that mostly plays it safe, but does everything right. The hottest thing about this sign is how direct it is. No games. No fluff. Just a strong commandment, and we are here for it. Also, shout out to making Tuesday Services a thing. Sorry George Michael, but there’s a stronger Faith in “The Little Country Church in Town.”
#2- First United Methodist of Louisa
The sign says “Everyone Welcome” and we believe! This sign makes us feel like we can find true Nirvana beneath their storied steeple. This sign takes a big risk and sticks the landing. The biggest risk being having a female preacher, and if you have a problem with that we suggest you get your head out of your own butt and back into the Bible.
Fun fact: Remember Paul, the guy that wrote roughly 50% of the New Testament? If you read his words, many women filled major leadership roles in the early Church, including Euodia and Syntyche (Phil. 4), Prisca/Priscilla (See the end of Rom. and 1 Cor.), and Phoebe who was a Church Deacon (Rom. 16). We don’t even have time to touch on two women Later Christians sort of successfully erased from the Bible, Junia (See the End of Rom.) and Theccla (Apocrypha).
Seriously, Rev. Tammy Smith… You go girl!
This article is sponsored by:
#1- Catalpa Free Will Baptist Church
This should be no surprise to anyone. Catalpa Free Will Baptist has been at the top of the Church Sign game for well over the past decade. Whether it’s reminding us of the the joys of Heaven or the torments of Hell, no other church in the area has so masterfully honed their sign skills like Catalpa.
You can’t deny every time you are traveling down the most boring straight stretch on U.S.-23, or suffering through that area without cell phone reception next to the power plant, the only thing keeping you going is the anticipation of seeing whatever snappy saying Catalpa Free Will Baptist Church has on its Church Sign.
Unless the other Churches step up their sign game, we don’t anticipate their losing this title any time soon. They are so confident they aren’t afraid to make the occasional typo. It’s okay, they know who to ask for forgiveness.
Honorable Mentions:
Louisa First Baptist Church – They have two signs and that’s a little too glutinous, but we respect their moxie.
KFC – Honestly, enough people hit up the buffet after Sunday service that the KFC Sign should count as a Church Sign.
Smokey Valley Enterprise Baptist Church - A sign so hot that it literally has “Smokey” in the name. We bet their revivals are on fire!
Don’t forget to submit your nominees for
Spring 2023
Sexiest Drive-Thru
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