By: Mark Wayne, Lead Investigative Reporter

Date: August 8, 2022

Sandals Resorts International, owner and operator of the famous Sandals Jamaica, has released a press statement that they are in final negotiations to acquire the Fallsburg Falls Campground. The Campground is famous for being home to the world class Fallsburg Beach, the premiere beach front property in Eastern Kentucky.

            The move comes as a surprise to many of Sandal’s stockholders who primarily associated the Sandals name with Caribbean resorts. In the released press statement, the company announced they felt the need to adjust to the changing economic and environmental climate by placing a resort in a deciduous temperate forested area that is easier for more tourists to travel to.

            Sandals Spokesperson Urk Elgru was quoted as saying, “We want to combine the fun, ease, and party lifestyle of an all-inclusive Caribbean resort with the homespun wholesomeness of Colonial Williamsburg. After looking at several places in Appalachia, we have chosen the Fallsburg Beach site as our favored site.”

            Due to controversies surrounding Sandals Resorts’ acceptance of LGBTQ+ couples, serving alcohol, and hiring mostly non-white staff, several local churches were planning a protest of the acquisition until an agreement was reached with Sandals’ ownership to allow creek-side baptisms. Urk Elgru added, “We were going to hire actors to perform reenactments of local traditions and ceremonies like baptisms and coon hunting, but this kind of works out better for us.”

            Sandals Resorts International’s sister company Crocs Resorts International stated if the deal went through, they would look into acquiring Creekside Cabins & RV Park in order to start Appalachia’s premiere nudist Creekside Resort, though that acquisition is expected to face more stiff opposition.